This quick Monkey Whizz synthetic urine review is going to tell you the truth about this budget brand of fake piss.
There’s too much confusion around Monkey Whizz. For a start, Monkey Whizz isn’t the actual urine at all. I’ll explain what I mean by that in a moment, but it needs to be cleared up at the start of this review because quite often it means people buy the wrong product and waste money on something more complex than they need.
I’m going to tell you exactly what’s in Monkey Whizz, give you the full instructions you need to use it properly, and give you my best tip on minimizing the chances of submitting Monkey Whizz at the wrong temperature.
On top of all that, I’ll tell you about the chances of Monkey Whizz working, telling you if using Monkey Whizz at Labcorp is viable, and we will also go through a couple of significantly better alternatives.
What Is Monkey Whizz Really?
So look, right here at the start of this Monkey Whizz review I want to clear up some confusion about what Monkey Whizz actually is.
Monkey Whizz is not the name of the synthetic urine. The company makes it is called Serious Monkey Bizzness, and they sell four different products. All contain exactly the same fake urine, but only one product is actually called Monkey Whizz.
The four products in the range are:
- Monkey urine is the entry-level product costing less than $20. It’s the same urine as in the other products, but it’s not premixed. So you just get a vial of powder. You don’t get any heatpads, nothing else at all. So it’s great for fetish use, but no good for passing a drug test.
- Monkey Flask is the first serious product in the range. It contains the same urine, but it’s premixed. They basically use water and sterilize it so that it has a long shelf life. The Monkey Flask product also contains a heatpad, making it viable to use for transporting the fake urine for a drug test. It costs about $40.
- The third product in the range is called Monkey Whizz. It contains the same premixed urine, and heatpads, but also the Monkey Whizz incognito belt. So it’s not the urine that’s called Monkey Whizz at all, it’s the incognito belt which can help you to transport the urine and dispense it. The monkey whizz belt kit will cost you $56.99.
- The last product in the Serious Monkey Bizzness range is called Monkey Dong. It’s a fake penis. A prosthetic. The urine is contained within a belt, and you simply squeeze the dong to realistically release it into the sample cup. Its claimed that this can even pass a close scrutiny observed drug test, but I’m simply not convinced by that and wouldn’t recommend it.
Monkey Whizz Ingredients
One of the key criteria for answering the question: does Monkey Whizz’s work, is to look at the ingredients in it.
If it doesn’t contain all the key chemicals real urine does, if it doesn’t mimic real urine closely enough, then it will fail checks that labs do before they test the sample for the presence of drugs.
What happens at the lab is when you give them the sample, they will check the temperature of it first. It has to fall between 90°F and 100°F, which is why it’s essential that the heatpad is good quality, and that you monitor the temperature.
They then check for the presence of chemicals that are found in urine for basics like urea, uric acid, and creatine, as well as other chemicals in more advanced drug tests.
If you pass all that, then they will check the sample for the presence of drug metabolites, this is done by putting a sample of the fake urine onto a panel, which is why it’s known as a panel drug test. The most basic one is a five panel drug test that looks for the main types of drug metabolites (things like cannabis and cocaine).
So what does Monkey Whizz contain that will help it to get you through all that? Well, it has the following beneficial characteristics:
- Contains creatine
- Contains urea
- Monkey Whizz contains uric acid
- Falls within the correct specific gravity range
- Falls within the correct pH range (acidity/alkalinity range)
- Looks like real urine
However, where the Monkey Whizz urine product range falls down is that the base urine itself doesn’t contain any other chemicals found in human urine. Compare that to the market leader (which I’ll mention at the end of this Monkey Whizz synthetic urine review) which contains 14 chemicals found in human urine.
So Monkey Whizz will get you through a basic pre-employment drug test, but if it’s a more advanced and expensive drug test, then it will struggle.
Monkey Whizz Review
Instructions for using Monkey Whizz urine products are pretty straightforward, almost identical to all the other synthetic urine products out there. The variations come with different product make-ups.
The most basic product, Monkey urine, requires that you mix the powdered urine up, and you will need a heat source to keep the sample within the correct temperature range.
Monkey Flask is the first viable product, and it very closely matches another widely used synthetic urine called Quick Fix.
With Monkey Flask you get the premixed urine and a heatpad. The company claim you don’t need to use a heat source to initially warm the sample up, but I would always suggest that you use a microwave to take some pressure off the heatpad.
But whatever you do, the bottom line is that you should else get it within the right temperature range then keep it there for a few hours.
With the Monkey Whizz incognito belt product, the heat mostly comes from your body, because the urine is spread out close to your body inside the belt. It comes with a couple of very small and thin heatpads, which can do just enough to raise the temperature. But for me, there’s extra complexity in the Monkey Whizz belt dispensing system that you may not need for an unsupervised drug test.
But the key to all Monkey Whizz product instructions is that you have to get it to within the right temperature range (between 90°F 100°F to be legally admissible).
Now just using human body temperature should get it close to 90°F if it’s close to the skin. The heatpad doesn’t, therefore, need to be that effective, all it has to do is raise the temperature by about 10° and emit a steady heat for a few hours.
My top tip, which I hinted at when I started this Monkey Whizz synthetic urine review, is to always have another heat source handy just in case the heatpad fails.
So let’s say that you’re about to walk into the testing building and you check the temperature and it’s below 90°F. It’s panic time.
You need a heat source to raise the temperature. It could be a spare heatpad that you clamp to it, and then you give it 10 minutes before you go in to raise the temperature. Or you could carry a flask of hot water with you and pour it over it.
Or you could do some reconnaissance in advance, and if there is a bar just around the corner, go into the restroom and use the hot water tap to raise the temperature.
Does Monkey Whizz Work?
To answer the question: does Monkey Whizz work, you have to look at the ingredients. For me, they are very basic, but just enough to get you through a low quality drug test. So if you’re going for a pre-employment basic drug test, you’re probably going to pass using Monkey Whizz.
But if it’s a more serious legal drug test, or an internal promotion, something like that, where they could have commissioned a higher level of testing, or if you get caught then you could lose an existing job, then the additional scrutiny could catch you out as the Monkey Whizz formula is pretty basic.
But yes, for a basic pre-employment drug test Monkey Whizz will work. However, the biggest reason why people fail drug tests using synthetic urine is not the complexity of the formula, it’s the sample temperature being outside the correct range.
The Monkey Whizz heatpad is pretty good, but it can fail. It’s a budget product, and whether you use Monkey Flask or the Monkey Whizz incognito belt, you do stand a higher risk of failing than with the more expensive alternative synthetic urine products I’ll tell you about in a moment.
Where To Buy Monkey Whizz
When I’ve bought Monkey Whizz, I haven’t bought Monkey Whizz from Amazon, or anywhere general like that because the quality can be poor (often short-live product bought cheap), or it could be out of date.
I always use the authorized reseller like this webstore. This is because they are trustworthy, have a long track record of positive reviews, and the price is really good.
Better Alternatives To Monkey Whizz
But the conclusion of this Monkey Whizz synthetic urine review has to be that although it’s good enough for basic drug testing, there are better alternatives out there.
Monkey Flask cost $40, while the Monkey Whizz incognito belt costs $56.99. But if you want to go another step further then for $80 you can buy Sub Solution.
Sub Solution is a far more advanced formula than Monkey Whizz urine, containing 14 chemicals found in human urine, versus the three found in the monkey urine (urine, uric acid, and creatine).
It’s a synthetic urine powder, and the product also contains heat activator powder rather than a heatpad. For more info check out my detailed Sub Solution synthetic urine review.
One more step better than that is Quick Luck. It’s made by the same company who makes Sub Solution. It’s a slightly more advanced an updated formula, and the urine is premixed rather than in powder. You also get heatpads as well as heat activator powder. It’s also more expensive, one bottle costs $100.
That’s the clincher for me. Sub Solution and Quick Luck use heat activator powder. So you don’t need to worry about having a microwave, and you don’t need to worry about a heatpad failing on the way to the lab either. When you are nearing the testing facility, just add heat activator powder until it gets to within the correct temperature range, and then go in and confidently submit your sample.
So I have to say that although Monkey whizz is a good budget option, just like Quick Fix, if you’ve got the money, then Sub Solution or Quick Luck are much better options